Is EMDR Safe? The Inner Workings of an Actual EMDR Therapy Session

By Djuan Short, LCSW | EMDR Certified Therapist | Philadelphia, PA + NJ

You have been sitting with something for a while now.

Not sure what to call it. Not sure if it is bad enough to name out loud.

You are doing fine — mostly. You are showing up. Getting through. Managing.

But something underneath is still there.

You have wondered—maybe more than once—if Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) could help, or if it will create an emotional breakdown, in the midst of your jam-packed schedule and force you to put on a smile before your next meeting or other responsibilities.

EMDR is used to help with trauma, but it is also effective for anxiety, grief and loss, phobias, stress, performance blocks, and medical trauma. It is structured so you leave each session grounded and stable, able to return to what matters most without feeling destabilized. If you ever feel unsettled after a session, you are not left to handle it alone.

This balance of caution and curiosity is exactly what current and past clients have expressed when considering EMDR or processing painful experiences, even though they are gravely impacted by the intense emotions, sensations, and thoughts from the past.

She says, "I am ready for deeper healing, but I am scared."

She says: Everything feels heavy, but I do not want to fall apart.

She says, "I know what happened." I just cannot seem to get past it.

Of the three, that last one is the concern I want to focus on.

The #1 Fear: Trying EMDR Only to Fall Apart

Here is what I know about the women who find their way to this work.

They are not fragile. They have been carrying things — sometimes for years, sometimes for decades — without dropping them. They are the ones other people call when it gets hard.

They are the ones who keep going when going feels impossible.

They do not need to be pushed past their limit.

They need something that works with their system, not against it.

So when someone asks me, "Is EMDR safe?" — I say yes.

Not because EMDR is gentle in the sense of avoiding difficulty. But because the safety is structural. It is built into how this work is designed — and into how I practice it with women who are doing a lot, feeling a lot, and cannot afford to come undone on a Tuesday.

We do not start by opening everything.

We start by helping your system stop bracing long enough to know it can survive the truth.

Trauma is not just a memory—It's an ongoing experience held in your nervous system.

Before we begin the deeper work, I clarify this important distinction: Trauma does not refer solely to the external event itself, but rather to the nervous system's unresolved and persistent emotional, mental, and physical response to that event.

When something overwhelming happens, your brain tries to process it. When it cannot — when the experience is too much, too fast, or too alone — it gets stored incompletely.

The memory does not just sit quietly in the past. It stays live. Activated. Your nervous system continues to respond as if the threat is still present — even when, on the surface, everything is fine.

This is why you can know, in your mind, that you are safe — and still feel your body tighten when a certain tone of voice comes through. This is why talking about what happened can hit a wall. The understanding is there. The body has not gotten the message yet.

Childhood trauma and complex trauma — the kind that builds across years and relationships, not just single events — live especially deep in the nervous system. Most people are not walking around using those words for their experience. They are walking around feeling like something is off. Like they cannot fully land. Like they are expecting the other shoe to drop.

My body does not yet believe the danger is over.

That is what I hear underneath so much of what women bring into this work.

This ongoing response in the body is exactly what EMDR addresses.

What is Bilateral Stimulation and What Does it Do?

EMDR uses bilateral stimulation, which means activating both sides of your brain by moving your eyes side to side, tapping, or listening to tones. During this, you hold a specific memory or belief in mind. Bilateral stimulation refers to this process of engaging both sides of your body or brain, which can feel unusual until you experience the effects.

Let me walk you through what a typical EMDR session might look like:

First, we start with a brief check-in to help you settle in and review any changes since your last session. Next, we make sure you feel grounded and review calming or grounding techniques to help you return to the present if things become intense.

When you are ready, we identify a specific memory, feeling, or belief to focus on—one that feels manageable to you. While you keep that in mind, I guide you through bilateral stimulation, like following my fingers with your eyes or gently tapping your hands. This is done in short sets, usually lasting 20-30 seconds each.

After each set, we pause, and I ask what you noticed: any thoughts, feelings, or body sensations that came up. You do not have to share details unless you want to; just telling me you felt “an ache in my chest” or “I saw a color” is enough.

Throughout the session, we repeat these steps, only going as deep or as far as you are comfortable with. At the end, we close with grounding exercises to help you feel steady and ready to return to your day.

Your brain has a natural capacity to process and integrate experience. Trauma disrupts that capacity. Bilateral stimulation—such as moving your eyes from side to side, tapping your hands, or listening to alternating sounds—helps activate your brain's information-processing system. The information processing system refers to your brain's ability to make sense of and store experiences. This process allows the memory to shift from being stored as a current threat to being recognized as something that happened in the past, rather than something that still feels present.

The memory does not disappear, but the charge does. By "the charge," I mean the emotional intensity or distress associated with the memory. EMDR helps lessen intense and uncomfortable feelings, so the memory no longer triggers the same level of pain or upset.

Many clients notice that what once felt overwhelming begins to feel more like something in the rearview mirror — still visible, but no longer driving. The emotional intensity shifts. The body sensations loosen. The belief that fused itself to the memory — I am not safe, I am not enough, I have to do everything myself — begins to update.

This is not hypnosis. You are fully awake and aware throughout. You hold what I call dual awareness — one foot in the present moment, one foot gently touching the past — without being absorbed by it. You are in the room with me. You are also in contact with what needs to be processed. And you are never left there alone.

EMDR is one of the most researched trauma therapies and is recommended by organizations including the World Health Organization and the American Psychological Association for its effectiveness with trauma and related concerns.

Is EMDR Safe?

Before any reprocessing begins, we build the foundation.

We build what is called internal resources—specific images, sensations, or experiences that help your nervous system feel safe—as well as external resources, such as supportive relationships or grounding objects in your environment. These resources become anchors you can return to whenever you feel activated or overwhelmed. In EMDR, what’s being reprocessed are the memories, emotions, or beliefs that trigger distress, so you can respond with greater calm and resilience.

For example, we might practice imagining a calm or safe place, such as picturing yourself sitting in a peaceful garden, focusing on details like the colors of the flowers or the sounds of nature to help your body regain a sense of calm. We practice grounding, which means connecting to the present moment using your senses. We identify what regulation—maintaining a balanced emotional state—looks and feels like in your body, specifically, not in general.

For a full look at how the phases of EMDR fit together, visit my EMDR glossary page — and if you want to dive deeper, I recommend the EMDR International Association (www.emdria.org) or the book "Getting Past Your Past" by Dr. Francine Shapiro, the founder of EMDR.

What if the work left you too raw to handle what comes next? EMDR sessions are structured to leave you grounded and steady, so you can return to your daily responsibilities without feeling undone.

So, is EMDR safe? The short answer is, yes.

How Do We Support Women Who Carry a Lot and Feel Everything with EMDR Therapy?

Some of the women we work with come in knowing exactly why they are here. They have done research. They have read about complex trauma and childhood trauma and the nervous system, and they are ready to go deeper.

Some come in because someone they trust mentioned EMDR, and they wanted to understand what it actually is before transitioning to working with the technique.

Both are the right way to arrive.

Regardless of where someone is starting from, we start with:

• Step 1: Guiding you to feel more comfortable looking at each area of concern with curiosity and the possibility of "what if."

  
  

• Step 2: Witnessing and equipping you to stay present, build your capacity as we go, assessing what comes up.

  
  

• Step 3: Modeling how to put the lid back on (the areas of concern without needing to "fix" something in the moment), so you leave each session feeling more resourced rather than raw.

When you have the space to name what you want to look at and have that honored, something important happens. You begin to experience safety not only intellectually, but also on a physiological level: your nervous system receives feedback that it is safe to slow down, to feel, and to remain present. Through this process, you learn in your body as well as your mind that you are safe here, that your pace is the right pace, and that you do not have to override your bodily signals or instincts to get through this.

That learning is not just comfort. That is part of what heals.

What does Window of Tolerance mean?

The window of tolerance is the range in which your nervous system can actually process experience. The window of tolerance means the level of stress or emotion your body can handle before becoming overwhelmed or shutting down.

Too much activation — too much at once — and you tip into overwhelm. Everything feels too loud, too heavy, too close.

Too little activation and you tip into shutdown. You go flat. Numb. Somewhere else.

Effective EMDR keeps you inside that window. Not too open. Not too close. Moving through what is there at a pace your system can actually integrate.

For women who are doing a lot and feeling everything—who have learned to function on override—their window of tolerance (the range in which the nervous system can comfortably handle emotional and physical experiences) may be more limited than it appears. The preparation work we do early in treatment is designed to widen this tolerance, gradually increasing your capacity. This way, when we engage in deeper work, your system is better able to manage and integrate what arises.

This is also why anxiety and overwhelm are not disqualifiers for this work.

They are often exactly the reason it is needed.

If you are interested in EMDR therapy or EMDR Intensives, we offer them for adults in Philadelphia and throughout Pennsylvania—including the Main Line, Harrisburg, and Pittsburgh—as well as across New Jersey, including Cherry Hill, Marlton, and Haddonfield. Sessions are available statewide via telehealth. Learn more and schedule here.

When you are ready to explore whether this is the right fit, I offer a 30-minute consultation session. During this consultation, we will discuss what brought you here, what you hope to address, and any questions or concerns you may have about EMDR or the process itself.

The intention is for you to get a clear sense of how I work and whether this approach feels right for you, so you can make a decision from clarity instead of pressure.

You can schedule directly here: BOOK CONSULTATION — or visit the EMDR Therapy Philadelphia page for more.

P.S. Whatever you carry matters, and seeking support for it—no matter what you call it—is an act of courage, self-respect, and true leadership that shows you are wise and deserving of care.

Frequently Asked Questions About EMDR

Q: Is EMDR safe for someone dealing with childhood or complex trauma?

A: Yes, and it is specifically designed to address the kind of trauma that does not always have a single clear event attached to it. Complex trauma and childhood trauma live in layers. They show up in patterns, in the body, in how you relate to yourself and others. The preparation phase of EMDR builds the foundation your system needs before we go anywhere near the deeper material. We move at your system's pace, not a predetermined schedule.

***It is also important to know that, like any therapy, EMDR may not be the best fit for everyone. For example, EMDR may not be recommended for individuals with certain serious dissociative disorders, unmanaged severe mental health conditions, or if a person is not feeling stable enough to begin trauma work. We always discuss your unique situation and needs before we start, to ensure EMDR is the right approach and to address any questions about limitations or possible alternatives.

Q: What if I don’t remember everything about my trauma?

A: You do not need to remember every detail for EMDR to be effective. We focus on your present experience and work gently with whatever arises.

Q: Will I have to talk about everything that happened to me?

A: You only share what feels comfortable. EMDR does not require you to describe every detail of your experience.

Q: Can EMDR help with issues besides trauma?

A: Yes. EMDR is effective for anxiety, grief, phobias, performance blocks, medical trauma, and more—not just trauma.

Q: How will I feel after a session?

A: Most people leave sessions feeling grounded and stable. If you ever feel unsettled, you are not left to handle it alone—support is always available.

Q: Is EMDR safe?

A: EMDR is evidence-based, recommended by leading mental health organizations, and practiced in a safe, confidential, and ethical environment.

Q: How many sessions will I need?

A: The number of sessions varies for each person. We will move at your pace, prioritizing your comfort and readiness.