What is EMDR Therapy and How Does EMDR Work?

Apr 23
6 min read

By Djuan Short, LCSW | EMDR Certified Therapist | Philadelphia, PA + NJ

A therapist’s hands holding a pen on a notebook

The fact that you are here shows self-awareness and courage.

Recognizing when to reach out is not easy, and it deserves acknowledgment.

Maybe it was an unexpected conversation, an unexplainable reaction, or a background heaviness.

Maybe you appear put-together to others. You show up, deliver, and manage things.

And beneath it all, something remains unsettled.

You have tried to name and work on it. Yet, the feeling returns, no matter how well you understand its origin.

Understanding the story is only part of the process—your body must also believe the danger has passed.

That is the awareness that brings most people to Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR therapy).

A client may feel stuck after years of talk therapy. She understands her anxiety origins and childhood patterns, but freezes when criticized at work, despite knowing there is no real threat. Her body still reacts as if there is.

This realization marks the beginning of EMDR work, bridging knowing and feeling.

The Gap Between Understanding and Actually Feeling Different

People seeking EMDR are already familiar with self-awareness.

They have traced present pain to past origins and understand why they respond as they do.

But understanding does not always change the felt experience.

You can know with absolute clarity that a pattern started in childhood and still feel your chest tighten every time a certain tone of voice comes at you. You can trace exactly why you shut down under pressure and still shut down anyway.

This is not about intelligence. This is not about effort.

This is about where trauma actually lives — and it is not only in the mind.

Trauma stays in the body. It is held in the nervous system as an unresolved response to something overwhelming. The nervous system stays organized around that experience, always scanning and bracing as if the threat remains.

Insight gained from verbal processing does not update that nor change the feelings.

This is where EMDR therapy can be a significant tool.

What EMDR Actually Is?

Let us break down what EMDR stands for: Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing.

Here is what that means without the jargon.

Your brain naturally processes difficult experiences. Trauma interrupts this. Overwhelming memories are stored in a fragmented, emotionally charged way, still tied to the original response.

EMDR uses bilateral stimulation—side-to-side eye movements, taps, or sounds—to activate the brain processing system. In a typical session, you might follow the therapist's fingers, hold gently vibrating buzzers, or listen to alternating tones.

Most clients describe the experience as focusing on a memory or thought while engaging in these gentle, rhythmic movements or sensations. You remain fully awake and able to pause at any time. EMDR gives your brain the conditions to do in a session what it has been unable to do on its own.

At Dahlia Rose Wellness Center, we use the butterfly method for alternating taps.

It is not hypnosis. You are present and aware throughout.

It is not reliving what happened. The distinction matters: you are not asked to narrate the story in detail. You are guided to hold the memory while your system does the processing.

The goal is not to erase what happened. The benefit of EMDR is that it changes how the memory lives in your body, so it no longer overwhelms you. Instead, memories can be recalled without intense emotional or physical reactions.

When the EMDR processing process assists you to not forget. You remember differently. The benefit is a shift in the emotional charge. What was once a painful trigger becomes something you can hold as part of your story without being controlled by it.

How Does EMDR Work?

EMDR uses a structured 8-phase protocol. Before identifying target memories, something else happens first.

We guide clients in taking the lid off areas of their lives that they are both proud and worried about.

We look at your life together: the situation, relationships, patterns, history—what works or does not. You become a witness, seeing things from a grounded place instead of the chaos.

Then we continue, with you deciding what to focus on. This autonomy shows you deserve safety and trust in relationships.

That is not a small thing. That is foundational to this work.

We build your capacity to stay regulated as the work gets harder. Grounding, resourcing, and slowing the nervous system help you tolerate tough moments without shutting down.

Only then do we begin targeting.

Together, we identify a specific memory, belief, emotion, and sensation linked to an unprocessed experience. With bilateral stimulation, your brain does what it was built to do.

The 8 phases—from history-taking to reevaluation—move at your nervous system pace, not a fixed timeline. Sessions last 50-60 minutes. Most clients notice shifts after 6-12 sessions; some sooner, some need more, depending on their needs and goals. We adjust to fit your pace, never rushing or forcing the process.

Why Someone Chooses EMDR Therapy?

EMDR is one of many psychotherapy modalities. People choose it for unique reasons.

If you have gained insight in therapy but still feel unchanged emotionally, a body-based, trauma-focused approach like EMDR may help.

EMDR works at the level of the nervous system. The benefit is that it targets not just the story but also the emotions, bodily sensations, and beliefs tied to past events that talking alone cannot always shift.

This is not about one approach being better. It is about what your system needs.

EMDR is especially useful when:

You understand what happened, but still feel it as if it is current.
Your body reacts before your mind has time to intervene.
You have been carrying something for a long time and feel ready for it to move.
You are tired of talking about it and want something to actually change.

What to Expect in an EMDR Session?

EMDR Is an Active Process

EMDR is not a passive therapy. It takes effort and courage. As you work through memories, old feelings may come up, and you might feel more activated or tired than usual. This is a normal part of healing.

Caring for Yourself During EMDR

Support yourself with grounding exercises, gentle movement, writing, or keeping a list of calming activities and supportive contacts. Remember, your wellbeing comes first. I check in regularly to ensure your safety and comfort. If anything feels overwhelming, we slow down and use strategies to help you manage any discomfort. You are never alone—support is always available during and between sessions.

Healing Means Movement, Not Brokenness

If you notice strong emotions or physical sensations, it is not a sign that something is wrong. It is a sign that something is moving and healing.

What to Expect Over Time

Many clients notice that, after EMDR, the memory remains but the emotional pain fades. Situations that used to trigger a strong reaction start to feel neutral. There is more space between what happens to you and how you respond. What was once a wound becomes a part of your history, no longer dictating your present.

Healing Happens Gradually

EMDR is not about a single breakthrough. It is a careful, supported process, paced to your needs. You are not alone. Every session ends with grounding and regulation, so you always leave feeling resourced and supported.

Is EMDR the Right for Me?

Answer yes or no to the following questions:

Do you have insight into your patterns, but the felt experience has not changed?
Does your nervous system react before your thinking mind can catch up?
Do you find yourself in the same relational or emotional patterns despite knowing better?
Are you functioning on the surface—carrying everything, delivering on all fronts—but quietly exhausted underneath?
Has something happened, or have many things happened over time, that you have never fully processed?
Have you been in therapy before and feel like you are going in circles?
Does your body hold tension, tightness, or reactivity that does not match your current circumstances?
Are you ready to stop managing and start actually moving through it?

You do not have to be in crisis to benefit from EMDR. Many of the people I work with are high-functioning, clear-thinking, deeply capable women who are tired of having to override themselves to keep going.

Remember: Functioning is not the same as wellness. If you answer yes to several of these questions, EMDR therapy may be a supportive next step.

Feeling exhausted or needing rest is a normal and healthy response to carrying many responsibilities, and it does not mean there is anything wrong with you.

Take the Next Step

We offer EMDR therapy and EMDR Intensives for adults in Philadelphia and throughout Pennsylvania — including the Main Line, Harrisburg, and Pittsburgh — and across New Jersey, including Cherry Hill, Marlton, and Haddonfield. Sessions are available via telehealth statewide. Learn more and schedule here.

If you have been circling this for a while, that is worth paying attention to. Curiosity counts.

We offer a 30-minute consultation session to help you assess fit, get your questions answered, and experience the virtual therapy space before committing to treatment.